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Things that annoy me about being a parent. Many people think your life has ended now you’re a parent. They don’t call anymore. Pavements are not designed for buggies. People park on the pavement so you have to push the buggy into the road, then back onto the pavement. Lifts where there have a spoken announcement ‘ground floor’ thus waking the sleeping baby. Churchill square mall. The fact that you now have to get in a lift to go to Mother care. I now boycott it. That’ll learn them. I’m sure they miss my custom. . Er what else do I hate? I hate smocks! I’m not pregnant anymore, I don’t want to look pregnant! Why are all the clothes in every shop designed like big frilly tents? When I was pregnant it was the other way round. Right who else…ahh young shop assistants in TOPSHOP who think that mothers with buggies should not be allowed into fashion clothing stores and certainly not their changing rooms. They look at you like your 80 years old and say things like “maybe you should try bootcut jeans? They might flatter your shape better.” As they stand there casually looking good in just a T shirt and skinny jeans. (We called them drainpipe jeans in my day…. Personally I think only 9 year old look good in skinny jeans. Saying that I have 3 pairs I don’t wear…some are the ones I bought from Topshop maternity! Skinny jeans for pregnant women, they looked ridiculous, but I didn’t care I was pregnant it was my job to look ridiculous my ex said to me the other week, “can I ask you something?” I said “what?” sitting down preparing myself for something big, this sounded serious. Was it about money? Access? Looking at me seriously he said “Do you think I’d suit skinny jeans?” !?! Today some kids flyering outside HSBC didn’t offer me a flyer…. That says it all doesn’t it? They thought nahhh she looks past clubbing… Felt like shouting, “Didn’t wanna go anyway!”… Probably some wrung out drum n bass night or a retro back to the old skool house night, I should have gone up to them and said “I remember when these tunes came out the first time!” And what’s all this ‘new rave’ rubbish? New rave? Its not new is it; it’s just the same, big bright horrible colours in big baggy t-shirts with dumb writing on. Neon colours and plastic jewel doesn’t make it new. The only thing new about the new rave scene is that the kids don’t know what old rave was.
I don’t even know what I’m talking about, what kind of music is ‘New rave’; maybe I’ll look new rave up in itunes. Hang on a minute. Hmmm it’s quite good, its just bands like the Klaxons and the Gossip err apparently. You can’t google youth though can you? I’m not down with the scenes, I’m googling them. I’m old.