314 - Malone runs away from her date with the runs, this time its her not the baby with the milk vomit….

After a teary afternoon, sporting a cold red snotty face, a gorgeous Asian Prince stopped me in the street, whilst I was stomping home with the pram. “Can you spare 30 secs of your time out of your life?” Well, with those eyes mister I think why not, it can’t hurt, after all I have no intention to sign up to the charity . “We only’ need £2 a week”, I tell him I can’t afford that, I’m a single mum! He looks shocked, “ What! Is your ex crazy?” Nice line. We chat, he tell’s me his mum is a single mum, his dad left when he was young, wanting nothing to do with him. Eventually he says, “I’d really like to take you for a drink after I finish”. I don’t know what to say, so I start to say no, but he is very persistent. Thing is I’ve got to feed the baby her banana, porridge mush soon, I call my friend, she reminds me you only live once, after all its just a drink! So I go. I feed the baby in the café, and when he asks what I want to drink, I think sod it, I’ll have a huge marshmallow hot chocolate, after all you only live once! His mum is a childminder so he knows about babies, even taking over feeding the baby. Makes me feel like wow there are guys who don’t mind if you have a kid. God I am so old fashioned! Maybe it’s me, who is judging me, and no one else! Anyhoo he says, “You’re really into your music aren’t you, I prefer reading books” He gets out “STALIN” talking about Russian politics. I’m genuinely interested, but part of me can’t help but wonder if this is just his chat up line, y’know pretending to be cultured,

Suddenly I feel sick, I want to vomit on him. I feel faint, I need to go. I think have the runs. I can’t tell him that, so I say I feel sick. Thing is I don’t have milk very often and I’m bit allergic to it. He looks abit hurt, I say it’s not him, I’m sick! He says, “When will you call me?” I say, “When do you want me to call you?…” but I just want him to hurry up, go so I can run home with the runs! He says “tonight!”, He smiles“I would have taken you to dinner”, he asks me out on Saturday, but I’m busy, , “Well I could come back down tomorrow”. (He lives in London) By this point I say OK, just to get rid of him, my guts are really rotten. Thankfully my neighbour comes down and looks after the baby, whilst I lock myself in the bathroom. Just say No to milk! Later he texts, which I ignore, then he calls… but I don’t answer. It’s all too much! The boy wouldn’t give me time to breathe, never mind puke! It’s rock n roll dating with a baby! I can’t believe it was me vomiting milk and not the baby, but hey you only live once eh?