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Malone gets her fingers bitten whilst watching Jeremy Kyle…

For the last 9 months I’ve been blaming every wingey bit of behaviour from my baby on teething. Little did I know. That was not teething. That was her personality. Well no That was wind tiredness or hunger. Now I know what teething is. It’s when my otherwise content baby goes from smiling and playing happily with a empty tissue box (well I call it a development toy, you call it a tissue box) to suddenly screaming and then back to staring at Jeremy Kyle on ITV like nothing happened. Maybe she’s sick of daytime TV and its nowt to do with teething. Maybe she just can’t stand Jeremy Kyle, a lot of people can’t y’know. I like the show because it makes me feel posh compared to the people on there, I think things like ‘Jesus at least I’m not like them’. I really must stop blaspheming. I went into a church the other day looking for a baby class ( I was abit lost) and asked “where’ St Mary Magdaelenes?” The man at St Peter’s kindly looked up the address for me in the Yellow pages, realising I was no where near the place I should have been, and embarrassed I said leaving “god knows what I’m doing here!” He looked at me with eyes that said “Yes god knows my lost child”. Anyhoo… Here’s some of my favourite Jeremy Kyle-ism’s, “ If you stopped smoking cannabis all day long and got a job maybe you’d be able to be a proper dad to your son and he wouldn’t be out mugging grannies!” or “What kind of mother sells her daughter marijuana and sleeps with her boyfriend?! That’s it walk off the show you’re a coward woman!” Ha ha ha.. His show makes out we are a nation of weed smoking, knife yielding, mother hating, pastey grey looking, Primark wearing KFC eaters. Does everyone hate their mother? I know quite a few people who do. I think my own mother let all her own fears and emotions out on me that were all about her own life. She kinda used me as an emotional pin board and talked to me more as a mate than a mother. I called her by her first name never mum. I wonder if this is was quite central to our problems and society’s. Perhaps we shouldn’t be treating our kids like our friends, but actually be parents, perhaps the friends bit can be saved until they are grown up. I wonder if trying to be your child’s best friend, they lose respect for you, whilst perhaps you gain a buddy perhaps you lose the ability to discipline your child and also load too much onto their evolving emotional brains. Is it because we all want to be liked so much we let our kids get away with murder? Or does it just make our lives easier in the short run but harder in the long run….? Like giving the baby Calpol for teething… instead of just letting her bite on my fingers or a carrot to break the gum and bring out the teeth er quicker but more painfully? Hmmmm. Where’s that Calpol….