Week 12 -Malone decides saying she’s just had a baby isn’t the best way to interest a new man

January is a rubbish month. This Saturday the ex is coming to stay to spend time with our 5 month old baby. Oh yes, I can go out and party if I want to, but its January no one wants to party! I can’t stay in with the Ex and watch telly…. Can I? Hmmm what shall I do, I might go to the cinema, but Saturday night at the cinema is when it’s full of teenage dates isn’t it? I could do with a date. Date. That’s a weird word. English folk don’t go on dates do we? We go for a drink. Calling it a date is far too committed, also sounds like we might be interested in the other person romantically and god forbid the other person might think that.… oh yes us English have got it sussed call it ‘a drink’ and no one will ever know…. No one wonder this country has a drink problem…

Dating as a parent is odd. I went to a party at Christmas, met a guy who had split with his woman last year (well so he said) and he had twins. This information, put me off. That’s awful isn’t it. Someone is going to think that of me soon aren’t they…. ‘oh no she’s a mum’. Perhaps it wasn’t so much he was a dad, just a dad of twins! I wasn’t worried he was looking for a babysitter), I just thought if anything happened I’d always be way down the list of time commitment to him. Part of me can’t be bothered at all with the oppisete sex anyway ,but then of course this aloofness at parties has the knock on effect of making one really attractive to the oppisete sex . I want to say ‘yeah I’m really brillent I just had a baby – I know you’d never know I’m so slim, it was all the stress!’ But then I think maybe saying you’ve just had a baby isn’t the best way to man’s heart, so I don’t mention it. But then I have a few drinks and can’t help getting my mobile out ,showing photos of my baby like the clichéd proud parent. Presuming that I have a partner, the guy starts to back off and then I have to explain we’re no longer toghther, then they look bit scared like I’m looking for a new daddy or summat, before I know it, I’m telling them my life story., “her dad loves her and is really involved, he just didn’t want me anymore”. Far too much information in the kitchen of a party… Nah haven’t quite got used to being a single mum yet… Thank god it’s January and I’m not going out. Think I will stay in with the ex . I’ll let him watch Match of the Day. If I’d done that 6 months ago perhaps I wouldn’t be in this trouble in the first place.