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I love 7pm that’s the magic number. That’s when the wee bairn is tucked up in bed and I can collapse on the sofa watching junk TV. At 5 o’clock I’m thinking brilliant it’s nearly 6 which means I can put her in the bath at half past and then it’s 7…7 …7 …7 how I love 7pm. Hollyoaks I love it. I never used to watch it, but I became addicted when I had to breastfeed the baby for hours. Recently I have got in the habit of getting into my Jim-jams ten minutes after I have put the baby to bed. That means I’m ready for bed at 7.15pm every night reading a book watching junk TV out the corner of my eye (multi-tasking mum). I am reading a book at the moment about how people sabotage their own relationships, about how you can be a passive commitment –phobe. What is that you say? Well apparently it is someone who unconsciously (passively) chooses people to form relationships with who won’t be able to commit. For instance choosing to be with a married man, or falling in love with someone abroad or far away up north that you can’t see regularly. Or still being in love with your ex who has walked all over you and clearly doesn’t want to be with you…. Apparently these are all the classic signs of a passive commitment-phobe, an active commitment-phobe on the other hand actively runs into relationships all guns blazing and then gradually runs in the opposite direction after probably asking them to move in after a week being together. A commitment phobe will make you feel like a million dollars; they are not scared to suggest having a relationship the first night they meet you because they always believe they can run away if they want to. A commitment–phobe will talk about having babies in week 3 of knowing you, they do this (apparently) because they are totally fearless in their pursuit of you. It is only when this active runner feels nice and secure in this love that they actually realistically consider commitment. Have you ever noticed that? They fancy you, pursue you, you finally stop running and turn round and go okay yeah I like you, only for them then to go abit cold? The first rumblings of panic appear when they feel their love is returned and there is some sort of event which might deepen attachment such as visiting the parents, a joint holiday you get the picture, after that they begin paddling backwards but by this point they have asked you to marry them (okay it’s abit crazy after all you’ve only known them a few months but hey love has no limits right?) I’m reading this book, and its all-sounding abit familiar; I like the fact that it doesn’t let me off the hook either. It kinda suggests that I have invited this commitment-phobe into my life because possibly I am scared too; perhaps I have passively been scared of commitment, unconsciously choosing partners that can’t commit. It seems society is kinder to women who are abandoned by their partners than the ones that abandon, much much kinder, there is more support. Hmmm… where’s the remote control? This is all much to much to think about, and Big Brother is about to start. (phew…it was all getting abit deep and involved there…)