5 weeks old

I need to ‘get real’ as Ex put it… Romance is definitely dead then… My parents met in Portobello road in 1969, he asked her for a light, she went back to his flat to smoke and listen to my dad play Bob Dylan on the guitar with his 3 notes… They got together that night and been together ever since…call me old fashioned but I do believe in love. I do believe that love conquers all. My parents used to fight like cat and dog and there were times I thought they should split up, but I eat my words now because they sit there now 34 years later holding hands still in love! All it’s taught me is that relationships have up and downs and those ups and those downs might last years but in a 34-year marriage that’s a blip in an ocean. They have also taught me that if you don’t want to go to relate for relationship help then Chianti red wine is an excellent alternative. The bottle listens and doesn’t judge and everything is forgotten in the morning… I used to think their drinking was destructive but hey what do I know? My longest relationship is 2 years…

Maybe if I had a drink problem I would lighten up abit and blur out my relationship hiccups and just get on with my relationships rather than nitpicking at them… I didn’t think I did nitpick at ex but I must have as he said to me the other day “I never feel appreciated by you, I just want to feel appreciated” Bit late for that now mate I felt like saying…. Didn’t appreciate being dumped pregnant….

No its not the 1940’s and he doesn’t have to stay with me, but after encouraging me to conceive his baby he could at least try to make it work longer than he did…his reply is “but I deserve to be happy” yes of course. My god if I could impregnate some guy and then pay them to bring up my child visiting whenever I wished, having new partners and be fancy footloose and free and generally getting it all my way then I would too!

He’s talking about moving to Brighton! Part of the reason we split up was because he didn’t want to live in Brighton and wanted me to move to his hometown miles away!

On one hand I want him near for babysitting services so I can have some sort of life but on the other hand I like the fact that are our lives are separate I don’t want him waving a new girlfriend in my face strutting around Brighton or worse still him getting off with someone I know which is highly likely in tiny Brighton… and my god he is fit single Brighton women would be clambering over his alpha maleness and I’d be standing there holding the baby wishing it was the 1940’s…