Week 15 -With a 5 month old baby Malone is forced to go to baby classes and bars…
Gawd. This mum malarkey is great and all that, but baby classes? Snore… Singing ‘old MacDonald has a farm’ at 10 o’clock in the morning with loads of middle aged mums and scabby snotty nosed toddlers isn’t my idea of a party. And is it me or are mums getting much much older? All the women looked way past child bearing age I thought maybe they were they were with their grandchildren. I mean I’m 34 but these women must have been 50 something seriously modern science is amazing. Hehee. It’s weird to think I could have children when I’m in my 40’s and weird to think that my chance to have more children will also diminish as each year passes. I’d like to have a baby next time with someone who wants to be part of a relationship, feel like I’m missing out on that experience abit. I see all the couples at the baby clinic enjoying their baby’s antics and I think oh poor me. but then I remind myself that they are probably rowing all the time about who’s turn it is to do the night feeds, and competing about who works harder mum at home, or dad at work.
Hmmm I just spent an hour on a dating website, my friend tells me that it’s now socially acceptable to date online. Some guy wrote me a lovely email saying “you sound perfect for me, unfortunately I’m 27 and off to live in the USA soon, good luck with what you doing whatever your doing it’s working….” Isn’t that nice? So I reply with a witty retort and he replies, “in relation to your comedy, someone born on the same day as me once said - tis better to remain quiet and be thought of as a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. Ha-ha!!! How rude but how brilliant, what a great insult. Not sure I deserved it or if that was the purpose of online dating… but then I got another dating email from a media lawyer saying I sounded interesting, I told him I just had a baby etc (which I debated mentioning) and he said things like, “ wow that’s a huge thing to go through” and gave me loads of sympathy, so that cheered me. I’ve got to try remember there are nice guys out there. I guess with online dating, it’s just basically a way of flirting without leaving the comfort of your front room, which is handy when you can’t. Ex reckons I got to bars more than him, but he can’t expect me to stay in and watch football with him can he? I’m almost forced to go out and party. Looking forward to the day when I have blokey and I can just slip off to his for the night ahhh and sleep all night, or go out to a club and get in at 530am rather than get up at 530am to feed a baby….
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Week 12 -Malone decides saying she’s just had a baby isn’t the best way to interest a new man
January is a rubbish month. This Saturday the ex is coming to stay to spend time with our 5 month old baby. Oh yes, I can go out and party if I want to, but its January no one wants to party! I can’t stay in with the Ex and watch telly…. Can I? Hmmm what shall I do, I might go to the cinema, but Saturday night at the cinema is when it’s full of teenage dates isn’t it? I could do with a date. Date. That’s a weird word. English folk don’t go on dates do we? We go for a drink. Calling it a date is far too committed, also sounds like we might be interested in the other person romantically and god forbid the other person might think that.… oh yes us English have got it sussed call it ‘a drink’ and no one will ever know…. No one wonder this country has a drink problem…
Dating as a parent is odd. I went to a party at Christmas, met a guy who had split with his woman last year (well so he said) and he had twins. This information, put me off. That’s awful isn’t it. Someone is going to think that of me soon aren’t they…. ‘oh no she’s a mum’. Perhaps it wasn’t so much he was a dad, just a dad of twins! I wasn’t worried he was looking for a babysitter), I just thought if anything happened I’d always be way down the list of time commitment to him. Part of me can’t be bothered at all with the oppisete sex anyway ,but then of course this aloofness at parties has the knock on effect of making one really attractive to the oppisete sex . I want to say ‘yeah I’m really brillent I just had a baby – I know you’d never know I’m so slim, it was all the stress!’ But then I think maybe saying you’ve just had a baby isn’t the best way to man’s heart, so I don’t mention it. But then I have a few drinks and can’t help getting my mobile out ,showing photos of my baby like the clichéd proud parent. Presuming that I have a partner, the guy starts to back off and then I have to explain we’re no longer toghther, then they look bit scared like I’m looking for a new daddy or summat, before I know it, I’m telling them my life story., “her dad loves her and is really involved, he just didn’t want me anymore”. Far too much information in the kitchen of a party… Nah haven’t quite got used to being a single mum yet… Thank god it’s January and I’m not going out. Think I will stay in with the ex . I’ll let him watch Match of the Day. If I’d done that 6 months ago perhaps I wouldn’t be in this trouble in the first place.
January is a rubbish month. This Saturday the ex is coming to stay to spend time with our 5 month old baby. Oh yes, I can go out and party if I want to, but its January no one wants to party! I can’t stay in with the Ex and watch telly…. Can I? Hmmm what shall I do, I might go to the cinema, but Saturday night at the cinema is when it’s full of teenage dates isn’t it? I could do with a date. Date. That’s a weird word. English folk don’t go on dates do we? We go for a drink. Calling it a date is far too committed, also sounds like we might be interested in the other person romantically and god forbid the other person might think that.… oh yes us English have got it sussed call it ‘a drink’ and no one will ever know…. No one wonder this country has a drink problem…
Dating as a parent is odd. I went to a party at Christmas, met a guy who had split with his woman last year (well so he said) and he had twins. This information, put me off. That’s awful isn’t it. Someone is going to think that of me soon aren’t they…. ‘oh no she’s a mum’. Perhaps it wasn’t so much he was a dad, just a dad of twins! I wasn’t worried he was looking for a babysitter), I just thought if anything happened I’d always be way down the list of time commitment to him. Part of me can’t be bothered at all with the oppisete sex anyway ,but then of course this aloofness at parties has the knock on effect of making one really attractive to the oppisete sex . I want to say ‘yeah I’m really brillent I just had a baby – I know you’d never know I’m so slim, it was all the stress!’ But then I think maybe saying you’ve just had a baby isn’t the best way to man’s heart, so I don’t mention it. But then I have a few drinks and can’t help getting my mobile out ,showing photos of my baby like the clichéd proud parent. Presuming that I have a partner, the guy starts to back off and then I have to explain we’re no longer toghther, then they look bit scared like I’m looking for a new daddy or summat, before I know it, I’m telling them my life story., “her dad loves her and is really involved, he just didn’t want me anymore”. Far too much information in the kitchen of a party… Nah haven’t quite got used to being a single mum yet… Thank god it’s January and I’m not going out. Think I will stay in with the ex . I’ll let him watch Match of the Day. If I’d done that 6 months ago perhaps I wouldn’t be in this trouble in the first place.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Week 11
“We value your call and will answer your call as soon as possible’ I can’t even remember why I’m calling, or who. Suddenly, “hello! Loneparent helpline”. Ah yes I need advice on this whole CSA thing I don’t get it, ex tells me its disbanded, benefits agency says it hasn’t, I’m confused. The helpline tell me the CSA is re-jigging itself and not disbanded. Ahem. I ask them to help m efill out the forms, the forms are so confusing, it’s like applying for a job at the council. I’m bit scared of what the ex will have to say when the CSA get in touch with him. It must be weird for a bloke, I mean imagine he hadn’t wanted a baby and I had and I’d gone along with it anyway, he’d still have to pay for it’s upbringing. That’s some contraception pill. If I was a bloke I’d always use a condom and if a woman said “I’m on pill” I’d wanna see her neck them every day.
Lone parent’ what the hell is that about? What was wrong with ‘Single parent’ lone parent sounds so desperate and lonely. At least single parent sounds like your up for abit, ‘single and parenting looking for love’ but I suspose that’s what’s wrong wiht the term, I mean you don’t have to be single to be bringing up a child on your own. You can have a partner but still be a single parent. Like I could have a boyfriend and still be a single parent. Perhaps they should change the term to ‘Parents from Failed Relationships’ PFFR’s for short. Whilst it is a little lengthy, I think it is more apt. Actually there are other reasons for being a single parent and not coming from a failed relationship. So I’ll shut up.
Why are women referred to as ‘miss’ or ‘mrs’ ? Why should we know whether women are married or not, and not men? It’s so Victorian! I use ‘Ms’ and I’m no feminist - at least not in the burn your bra way (I can’t afford to do that I’m a lone parent for god sake!). Sometimes I don’t even like women so I can’t be a feminist! My mother is a prime example of all I hate about women, she cries at things she can’t change (like war torn stuff on the news) I want to say look lady sort yourself out first before crying for anyone else, nothing is going to get better with your tears. She is demanding, always wants her own way and acts like a child if she doesn’t get it. When she wants attention she pretends she’s ill by forcing a fake wheezy breath. Are we all destined to become like our mothers? I hope not. My mother burnt her bra back in the day, where did it get her? Happily married with a child and a drink problem. Think I’d rather that though than CSA rubbish, I hate filling out forms.
“We value your call and will answer your call as soon as possible’ I can’t even remember why I’m calling, or who. Suddenly, “hello! Loneparent helpline”. Ah yes I need advice on this whole CSA thing I don’t get it, ex tells me its disbanded, benefits agency says it hasn’t, I’m confused. The helpline tell me the CSA is re-jigging itself and not disbanded. Ahem. I ask them to help m efill out the forms, the forms are so confusing, it’s like applying for a job at the council. I’m bit scared of what the ex will have to say when the CSA get in touch with him. It must be weird for a bloke, I mean imagine he hadn’t wanted a baby and I had and I’d gone along with it anyway, he’d still have to pay for it’s upbringing. That’s some contraception pill. If I was a bloke I’d always use a condom and if a woman said “I’m on pill” I’d wanna see her neck them every day.
Lone parent’ what the hell is that about? What was wrong with ‘Single parent’ lone parent sounds so desperate and lonely. At least single parent sounds like your up for abit, ‘single and parenting looking for love’ but I suspose that’s what’s wrong wiht the term, I mean you don’t have to be single to be bringing up a child on your own. You can have a partner but still be a single parent. Like I could have a boyfriend and still be a single parent. Perhaps they should change the term to ‘Parents from Failed Relationships’ PFFR’s for short. Whilst it is a little lengthy, I think it is more apt. Actually there are other reasons for being a single parent and not coming from a failed relationship. So I’ll shut up.
Why are women referred to as ‘miss’ or ‘mrs’ ? Why should we know whether women are married or not, and not men? It’s so Victorian! I use ‘Ms’ and I’m no feminist - at least not in the burn your bra way (I can’t afford to do that I’m a lone parent for god sake!). Sometimes I don’t even like women so I can’t be a feminist! My mother is a prime example of all I hate about women, she cries at things she can’t change (like war torn stuff on the news) I want to say look lady sort yourself out first before crying for anyone else, nothing is going to get better with your tears. She is demanding, always wants her own way and acts like a child if she doesn’t get it. When she wants attention she pretends she’s ill by forcing a fake wheezy breath. Are we all destined to become like our mothers? I hope not. My mother burnt her bra back in the day, where did it get her? Happily married with a child and a drink problem. Think I’d rather that though than CSA rubbish, I hate filling out forms.
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