Week 41 COME ON BABY!

Okay it’s not funny anymore, baby is overdue, have tried everything to help her out… Acupressure, acupuncture, massage, walking up stairs, evening primrose oil, hot curry, chilli, everything but doing the thing that got me in this trouble in the first place…. No chance of that since Ex is an Ex…Tempted to ask him for help purely for medicinal purposes. But we’re not getting too well at the moment; he hasn’t bought the pram as he said he would. It was the one thing he said he’d buy for the baby but as I’m beginning to realise he doesn’t like to say no, he can’t afford to buy the pram so I put it on my credit card and he assures me he will pay me back….

Had acupuncture at mad hatter café upstairs for £12.50! Bloody brilliant -recommended! Very relaxing at one point he said, “um the session is over and we need the table…” woops I’d been lying there for 5 mins after he took the needles out feeling so calm and relaxed… Now I am not! I am bloody bored of pregnancy I want my body back, I wanna go dancing, I want to have a pimms on the seafront…I want to go to a fitness class… I want to go to the toilet less… Night time feeding will probably be less tiring than all the visits to the lav that my pregnant bladder desires.

I finally get the nesting instinct and start rearranging the bed and wardrobe around the bedroom in preperation for baby’s arrival. I start bleeding… I tell my friend Holly who’s training to be a nurse and she offers to drive me to hospital to get it checked out, I don’t want to hang around in hospital needlessly as I’m booked in there tomorrow for the baby to be induced anyway so I decline the offer. The truth is there is a reality TV show on later and it’s the last one and I want to watch it… then I remember you can watch telly in hospitals these days in fact you get your own TV for a few quid! The doctor says she can’t tell whats wrong but I need to be induced…. Grrr there goes my homebirth in the water pool I’ve hired! I’ve been doing hypnotherapy for the birth one of the things is that they don’t call it pain in labour they call it ‘intense sensations’ am now concerned the intense sensations will be much more intense being induced and being in hospital just seems like the road to powerlessness it’s no longer in my control maybe its metaphor for the rest of my life now…. eek. Hope the bairn isn’t this stubborn when she’s out…. I’m to be induced in the morning….wish me luck…