Week 39 – 1 week to go


Everyone keeps calling me to see if I’ve had the baby… now I just answer and say “No womb still occupied…”

Lisa’s friend Liz has given me a special labour inducing massage, last time she did it the woman delivered in 48 hours…She also reckons it’s a boy. All the scans have said it’s a girl…A month ago in Marks and Spencers a big African woman in full head dress looked at my bump and said mumbled “BOY” . Apparently the ultrsound scan searches for 3 lines which represent labia, I thought it was just a case of noticing a penis, you know…..an extra arm or leg but apparently not… What if they are wrong, what if the African woman and the mystic massoose are right and it’s a boy. I always wanted to know the sex of the baby so I could prepare my mind, I’d always wanted a boy, so when 3 scans told me it was a girl, I cried, but then I cried at anything at that point, breaking a finger nail, missing an episode of LOST you name it. I wanted a boy because I was scared of the challenge of a girl, having a child that is the same sex of you I think makes you have to deal with your own demons and I was scared of that. I was also bloody scared of girly tantrums and when she’s older her meeting boys… oh god I hope she’s a lesibian. I’ll send her to a convent…

What if it is a boy… that would spin me right out, I’ve totally got my head round having a girl now, I’m looking forward to having a little pal to borrow clothes off and keep me up to date with fashion when I’m in my 50’s. I always wanted a boy though, such an honour to bring a boy up, to make him a good man, a decent honourable strong man with values, now that was a challenge I wanted… But now I’m so into the idea of a girl I just can’t imagine. I wonder how EX would react if I had a boy, he always wanted a boy but I think that’s cos he just didn’t have a clue about what to do with a baby girl. Or any females full stop. Hmph.

I’m getting crampy back ache on and off now and then. EX just called, says that his bank have had enough of direct debits going unpaid and have asked him to cut up his SWITCH card and will be sending him a cashpoint card and depending on how he uses his bank account in future may be asking him to bank elsewhere… all I need this week is to worry about EX’s finances! All EX is worried about is not being able to keep payments up for his flash DJ mixer and turntables…. Hopefully the stress will bring on labour… Boys. I blame his mother…