Week 37 – 3 weeks to go….

Thought I was going into labour last week woke up with terrible back pain and had to get on all fours and pant to alleviate it…. Next day spoke to the Ex’s auntie who is a midwife, she reckons it could be a kidney problem, also says “ well your better off without him to be honest love, he’s selfish and childish, rubbish with money and he put you on such a high pedestal you were bound to fall off it eventually…” Grrreat thanks, when the EX first took me to meet his family, I really would have appreciated it if they had took me aside and told me that then, perhaps then my contraception devices would have been used a little bit more thoroughly. Instead I thought he was the kindest man I’d ever met, little did I realise he was putting everything on credit card and in 6 months time he would be so stressed by credit card bills he’d be feeling so pressurised he’d actually leave me….almost holding the baby, well ish haven’t had it yet…not long left though now….

Anyway another 3 days later I wake up in agony, needing a wee, weeing really hurts, back pain is agonising. I ring Lisa she rings an ambulance… I manage to slide into some trousers so I’m sure the hospital isn’t into the naturism…

The ambulance women give me gas and air and I want to puke, they try take me to A & E but I scream take me to the maternity ward as last time I was in A & E I had a bed next to a dying granny for 8 hours who was coughing her lungs out and it was enough to make you ill…

They push me into the lift I want to say that I’m scared on lifts but then I figure if I’m gonna get stuck in a lift and have a panic attack this would be the best time as I am with 2 ambulance women…

I beg doctor for pain relief, the midwife starts telling her how to examine my fundus and I realise she’s a trainee… I scream “oh great a bloody learner!” The midwife says I can have some pain relief after and only after I have peed into a jar…. I tell them I’m not in labour that its my kidneys and beg but they leave me in the bog with the jar, after 40 minutes of listening to the tap running and writhing round in agony I eventually piss but only after Lisa starts singing ‘lean on me…when your not strong...’ The test the pee and tell me there’s nothing wrong with my urine and give me codeine and within 10 minutes I’m transformed from waling banshee to a smiling half dressed pregnant woman who apologises to the ‘learner doctor’ and eats toast.

Apparently kidney stones are more painful than birth… so I’m sure I’ll be fine…