WEEK 34

Just thought of another reason why women shouldn’t be dumped pregnant.

Its 10pm and I need chocolate. Normal circumstances boyfriend would be cajoled into getting the pregnant girlfriend choc0late from the 24-hour. Hmph. EX has a lot to answer for. I wonder how much I really need the chocolate as I bounce on my ‘fit ball’ (trying to get baby in head down position for and an easy birth) so far she’s spent 7 months head down and has now made a complete about turn …. great just like her father…

I’m need a Galaxy bar and possibly Vienetta… Everyone keeps saying how well I look – reckon I can afford a little munch… the flip flops are on and I waddle slowly up the 24 hour shop. Some days I am really crippled my pelvis feels very odd, I look like an old woman walking. People say how I look slimmer than before I was pregnant… does that mean I was bloody fat before?

I assure everyone I’ve been eating, in fact I’ve never eaten so much junk, my old diet of tofu and rice has been elbowed in favour of potato waffles and spaghetti hoops. It’s been a wheat and dairy fest! And my allergies seem to have disappeared! Brilliant! But hey so have my boobs…aren’t they supposed to grow? Mine seems to have got smaller my nipples have increased in size though and have un inverted themselves, perhaps they just look smaller in contrast to my now huge belly…

I’ve decided if they shrink maybe I’ll have a boob job… looked it up on Google and it found breasts enlargement pills!! Surely rubbish right? A mixture of oestrogen making herbs, which may give you, boobs but also breast cancer and ruin your metabolism. Maybe I should just breast feed for the next 10 years. Actually I don’t know if I can do 3 months…I know its supposed to be the most natural thing in the world but anything sucking on my tits apart from a man just before I come just doesn’t seem right.

Erm joking aside, I’ve got to remember it’s cheaper and easier than bottles (sterilising bottles for a bottle feed at 4am defenitly isn’t natural, in fact being awake then isn’t unless of course you coming home from a club…) Breastfeeding is healthier for the wee bairn’s immune system, so I will give it my best shot.

Also apparently I can eat an extra 500 calories a day if I breastfeed…or not and lose loads of weight…. Gimme me the chocolate!

Standing in the 24 hour my major decision today is shall I buy Artic roll or Vienetta? Next week it’ll be how the hell can I afford to pay for them but until then I waddle home carrying my heavy load of foetus, Galaxy, and Vienetta, no wonder I’m such a skinny pregnant woman I tell you it’s unnatural to be single and pregnant late night chocolate purchasing is the mans role!