Week 2 of Baby's life

“I’m so proud of you” EX, says staring at the baby and me “you were amazing in the birth”. EX picks us up from hospital and is totally doting. Lovely friends come to stay to help at night (I can’t sit upright in bed without help due to the caesarean). I am happy as I have made EX so happy, he is so totally in love with the baby, he looks confused like he wants me but I can’t be sure. He asks me if we can go to his family’s for the weekend which is a 4 hour drive and a ferry ride away, I agree as he says he will look after me 24 hours a day. My midwife thinks it maybe isn’t such a good idea as I only left hospital 4 days ago after major abdominal surgery I go anyway – I think part of me is hoping EX will realise he wants to be with me. We have such a laugh on the way there it’s just what I always wanted being a family and enjoying our child together, sharing moments (changing nappies on a lap in back of car, trying to breastfeed discreetly in front of old people). We get to the house very late – about 11pm and suddenly I hear this woman’s voice from his pocket and we realise he has rang someone by mistake – he goes off to answer it, which I think is weird as we standing in a dark field. I know it’s untrusting but I promise myself if he leaves his phone out I’ll check it to see who it was. So the next day I do and there’s a text message he has sent to some bird saying, “hold that horny thought! I’ll see you Monday - I promise it’ll be worth the wait!” Well I slap him round the face, cry abit, his sister has a go at him, I ask him “is it just a shag?” he says “it’s not even that” Poor guy probably hasn’t even shagged her yet and I’m slapping him. He won’t discuss her with me “its nothing to do with me, you or the baby”. Okay…. The next night I ask him to change her nappy (as I can’t move without difficulty) and he says, “Can you bring me a babygro?” I reply “well no…” He goes off the handle “why the hell not!” Lost for words I want to remind him he said he’d look after me this weekend. Next day I tell his sister who usually is on my side suddenly remembers her bloodline saying “Look it’s not the 1940’s! He doesn’t have to stay with you just because you’ve had a baby together!” And then when I said he said he’d look after me this weekend she said “Look your not ill are you?”. Okay technically no I’m not ill. I just had the 7 layers of stomach tissue severed a few days ago….!

1 week old

Ex turned up at hospital for the birth was going to tell him to leave but then ended up holding onto him for the 7 hours….

Everybody told me to make sure I ate before the birth to keep my strength up after all I could be in labour for 36 hours or more and its not called labour for nothing. So with that in mind I eat a baked potato and beans….! I feel constipated they give me a laxative. Kinda regret that…. The 7 hours of labour were unglamourously acoompained by bowel movemnst. .

By time ex turns up I’ve started labour and I grab onto his strong arms (good jobe he is there I would have broken little lisa ex looks a little werired out I have a male midwife..tell me about it! I refuse pain relief determined to just use the hypnotherapy techniques of counting an dbretahing I’ve learnt. I get in the birthing pool, its so lovely and warm, I bury my head in ex’s arms as he leans over the pool, lisa talks me through each contractation. Did you know in between each contraction you can speak and theres no pain? At 6pm the male midwife goes home as his shift ends and I get a proper midwife ie a woman. :) with nice small hands…which for checking how dilated you are that’s er handy.

I’m 7 cm dilated only 3 left to go. I can hear other women’s screams down the hallway. It’s medieval. I’ve been shitting constantly for 5 hours (I’m later told the baby was posterier an dpushing against my bowels). Not exactly the dumping I wanted ex to expereince after he dumped me… At some point I start begging for an epidural saying ‘CUT IT OUT OF ME NOW!’ As it happens they had to anyway the baby’s heartbeat rapidly went down very low and I was later told the cord had been round her neck. When they put that anathesia in my spine it was one of the best moments of my life ahhh completely numb from ribcage down, Lisa and EX appeared wearing plastic operating theratre shoes and ex looked really scared. So much so that even in my state of confusion I told him not to worry that that everything would be okay…sure it was susposed to be other way round… I lay there getting all 7 layers of stomach tissue stitched up. I was given tea and toast and everybody left (it was midnight and you can’t have visitors to stay) I sat there in the hospital bed bit confused. It’s amazing how much your core stomach muscles are used for every single movement, I couldn’t pick up the baby and had to buzz for help every time she cried. Felt helpless. Some chav mum is talks loudly on her mobile at 2am in the ward and everyone’s babies in the ward are taking turns to cry. Welcome to the world baby!

Week 41 COME ON BABY!

Okay it’s not funny anymore, baby is overdue, have tried everything to help her out… Acupressure, acupuncture, massage, walking up stairs, evening primrose oil, hot curry, chilli, everything but doing the thing that got me in this trouble in the first place…. No chance of that since Ex is an Ex…Tempted to ask him for help purely for medicinal purposes. But we’re not getting too well at the moment; he hasn’t bought the pram as he said he would. It was the one thing he said he’d buy for the baby but as I’m beginning to realise he doesn’t like to say no, he can’t afford to buy the pram so I put it on my credit card and he assures me he will pay me back….

Had acupuncture at mad hatter café upstairs for £12.50! Bloody brilliant -recommended! Very relaxing at one point he said, “um the session is over and we need the table…” woops I’d been lying there for 5 mins after he took the needles out feeling so calm and relaxed… Now I am not! I am bloody bored of pregnancy I want my body back, I wanna go dancing, I want to have a pimms on the seafront…I want to go to a fitness class… I want to go to the toilet less… Night time feeding will probably be less tiring than all the visits to the lav that my pregnant bladder desires.

I finally get the nesting instinct and start rearranging the bed and wardrobe around the bedroom in preperation for baby’s arrival. I start bleeding… I tell my friend Holly who’s training to be a nurse and she offers to drive me to hospital to get it checked out, I don’t want to hang around in hospital needlessly as I’m booked in there tomorrow for the baby to be induced anyway so I decline the offer. The truth is there is a reality TV show on later and it’s the last one and I want to watch it… then I remember you can watch telly in hospitals these days in fact you get your own TV for a few quid! The doctor says she can’t tell whats wrong but I need to be induced…. Grrr there goes my homebirth in the water pool I’ve hired! I’ve been doing hypnotherapy for the birth one of the things is that they don’t call it pain in labour they call it ‘intense sensations’ am now concerned the intense sensations will be much more intense being induced and being in hospital just seems like the road to powerlessness it’s no longer in my control maybe its metaphor for the rest of my life now…. eek. Hope the bairn isn’t this stubborn when she’s out…. I’m to be induced in the morning….wish me luck…

Week 40

EX has been ringing 3 times a day…”any sign?” he says so excited. I feel like a machine, a hen waiting to hand over the golden egg to him. “No. No sign…” Everyone has been ringing, parents, friends etc “any news?” “Noooo” Really getting on my nerves now, I mean I’ll bloody get a text to everybody when I have it and EX.’s and parents will get a call. EX still wants me to call him when I go into labour… I had a false labour the other week and I thought I was going into labour with crazy back and tummy pain and he had a go at me because I didn’t call him! I said “ringing you wasn’t my top priority at that point’ Jesus the man thinks when I’m in labour I should stress myself out my making sure I contact him.

So if he comes to the birth where’ is he going to stay? He reckons he’ll drive up from the country and do what sit in the car and wait? I only want people who care about me around me when I give birth…. I can’t decide if he is nuts or just mindlessly selfish. He said to me other night “But but I don’t wanna be the last person to meet my baby…” Hearing him refer to baby as his baby makes me feel weird… is it his baby? I mean of course it is biologically, but I mean oh I don’t know what I mean it just sounded weird. Then he said things like “what I did is done! Its over!” (referring to leaving me pregnant) !!? but it hasn’t even started yet!!

Made me feel rubbish, like I wasn’t allowed to feel upset still, forgive me I’m only 9 months pregnant… he also said “what I’ve done isn’t that abnormal, lots of people have babies not togehter…” Right fine well that’s okay then if other people do it…

I said to him “maybe you are having a nervous breakdown…perhaps might explain your feelings of hopelessness and complete inability to be empathetic and compassionate…” anyhoo needless to say he got really annoyed and said “I’m sick of u making out I’m a emotional retard! I’m not! I just realised I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you! “ Okay…. Fair enough. That’s the harsh truth isn’t it and he’s right I do need to ‘get with it’, what’s done is done I guess…. I guess I still love him and wanted to believe that he was just going through a tough time, all the pressure getting to him etc. I myself have been quite calm through this last part of pregnancy perhaps that has confused him. I was thinking maybe I am actually better off on my own at the moment I’m probably more relaxed than women with partners, I mean I can be totally selfish! At least for a few more days at least...

Week 39 – 1 week to go


Everyone keeps calling me to see if I’ve had the baby… now I just answer and say “No womb still occupied…”

Lisa’s friend Liz has given me a special labour inducing massage, last time she did it the woman delivered in 48 hours…She also reckons it’s a boy. All the scans have said it’s a girl…A month ago in Marks and Spencers a big African woman in full head dress looked at my bump and said mumbled “BOY” . Apparently the ultrsound scan searches for 3 lines which represent labia, I thought it was just a case of noticing a penis, you know…..an extra arm or leg but apparently not… What if they are wrong, what if the African woman and the mystic massoose are right and it’s a boy. I always wanted to know the sex of the baby so I could prepare my mind, I’d always wanted a boy, so when 3 scans told me it was a girl, I cried, but then I cried at anything at that point, breaking a finger nail, missing an episode of LOST you name it. I wanted a boy because I was scared of the challenge of a girl, having a child that is the same sex of you I think makes you have to deal with your own demons and I was scared of that. I was also bloody scared of girly tantrums and when she’s older her meeting boys… oh god I hope she’s a lesibian. I’ll send her to a convent…

What if it is a boy… that would spin me right out, I’ve totally got my head round having a girl now, I’m looking forward to having a little pal to borrow clothes off and keep me up to date with fashion when I’m in my 50’s. I always wanted a boy though, such an honour to bring a boy up, to make him a good man, a decent honourable strong man with values, now that was a challenge I wanted… But now I’m so into the idea of a girl I just can’t imagine. I wonder how EX would react if I had a boy, he always wanted a boy but I think that’s cos he just didn’t have a clue about what to do with a baby girl. Or any females full stop. Hmph.

I’m getting crampy back ache on and off now and then. EX just called, says that his bank have had enough of direct debits going unpaid and have asked him to cut up his SWITCH card and will be sending him a cashpoint card and depending on how he uses his bank account in future may be asking him to bank elsewhere… all I need this week is to worry about EX’s finances! All EX is worried about is not being able to keep payments up for his flash DJ mixer and turntables…. Hopefully the stress will bring on labour… Boys. I blame his mother…

Week 38 – 2 weeks left


Last night I dreamt I felt something between my legs. I had a feel and felt the baby’s head coming out of me. I pulled it out and she was actually quite beautiful and with motherly pride I sat down to a nice bit of tea and telly with some family and thought nothing more of it.

The next day I suddenly realised I hadn’t ‘delivered the placenta’ (no-one tells you this stuff but after a woman has the baby she then has to ‘give birth’ to the placenta and apparently it looks like a huge bit of liver). Anyhoo it can be really dangerous if it stays in there and a woman can die of infection or have her womb removed so they recommend it’s out in a few hours and if it’s not they give you drugs to hurry it up…

I suddenly realise its 24 hours later and it’s still in me and I freak out ringing the hospital, I can’t remember anymore it was a dream but anyway my friend made a brilliant anyalsis. She said “well maybe the baby stuff, the birth etc will be a breeze but perhaps there’s still some unfinished business in there..”

Hmmm definitely unfinished business to be dealt with. Whilst I have gone through a huge personal and physical growth spurt the EX I think has just been going nuts panicking somewhere in a tunnel shaft up north. I actually feel sorry for him… he has to get up at 3am to get to work at 9am…..imagine doing a 7 hour journey to work, I get tired walking to the Lav in the middle of the night never mind driving a million miles.

I wrote Ex a 6 page letter, as he doesn’t have email in the porta cabin on site – I decided to fax it, I don’t have a fax so my friend Anna had to fax all 6 pages of my heart felt felt feelings to this porta cabin up north.

“We have a few options as parents, we can either be – a) Together ,b) Separate parenting but committed as a team, c) Separate parenting at each others throats forever (Like a lot of single parents),or d) Never see each other again
I refuse to row constantly mostly over money or access. I will not ruin my life or my baby’s life with wrangling over the child’s emotional or financial needs.”


It was a very grown up letter, very fair. EX said “your letter has really made me think, I’ve realized what I’ve done leaving you pregnant”… er finally! I’m wondering if he wants to get back together, everyone keeps saying he will once he sees the baby. I’m confused I don’t even know if I want him back anymore, he is well fit but maybe he is boring.. he bored me the other day going on about some book he’d read, maybe it’s the hormones, … Definitely lots of unfinished business…

Week 37 – 3 weeks to go….

Thought I was going into labour last week woke up with terrible back pain and had to get on all fours and pant to alleviate it…. Next day spoke to the Ex’s auntie who is a midwife, she reckons it could be a kidney problem, also says “ well your better off without him to be honest love, he’s selfish and childish, rubbish with money and he put you on such a high pedestal you were bound to fall off it eventually…” Grrreat thanks, when the EX first took me to meet his family, I really would have appreciated it if they had took me aside and told me that then, perhaps then my contraception devices would have been used a little bit more thoroughly. Instead I thought he was the kindest man I’d ever met, little did I realise he was putting everything on credit card and in 6 months time he would be so stressed by credit card bills he’d be feeling so pressurised he’d actually leave me….almost holding the baby, well ish haven’t had it yet…not long left though now….

Anyway another 3 days later I wake up in agony, needing a wee, weeing really hurts, back pain is agonising. I ring Lisa she rings an ambulance… I manage to slide into some trousers so I’m sure the hospital isn’t into the naturism…

The ambulance women give me gas and air and I want to puke, they try take me to A & E but I scream take me to the maternity ward as last time I was in A & E I had a bed next to a dying granny for 8 hours who was coughing her lungs out and it was enough to make you ill…

They push me into the lift I want to say that I’m scared on lifts but then I figure if I’m gonna get stuck in a lift and have a panic attack this would be the best time as I am with 2 ambulance women…

I beg doctor for pain relief, the midwife starts telling her how to examine my fundus and I realise she’s a trainee… I scream “oh great a bloody learner!” The midwife says I can have some pain relief after and only after I have peed into a jar…. I tell them I’m not in labour that its my kidneys and beg but they leave me in the bog with the jar, after 40 minutes of listening to the tap running and writhing round in agony I eventually piss but only after Lisa starts singing ‘lean on me…when your not strong...’ The test the pee and tell me there’s nothing wrong with my urine and give me codeine and within 10 minutes I’m transformed from waling banshee to a smiling half dressed pregnant woman who apologises to the ‘learner doctor’ and eats toast.

Apparently kidney stones are more painful than birth… so I’m sure I’ll be fine…

Week 36 – 4 weeks left….

Friends from London are coming down later , in fact during my favourite TV programme LOST…how unthoughtful….Will it be rude if instead of meeting them at the station, when they arrive I just open the door for them and run back to the telly shushing them as they say Hello….. I’m abit worried. They want to stay for 3 whole nights…. Sometimes I long for company but I think 3 days of constant chatter and discussions about meals will send me nuts. Umm what will I be like when the baby is born … that will be my life…

Even though I miss companionship since the Ex left, sometimes I think I actually like being on my own, silence. Most of the time I don’t put music on, I just potter about and listen to the hum of everything. Well my upstairs neighbours play brillant music so I don’t have to put any on, they save me a fortune in electricity, it’s swings and roundabouts though as I think they are using my wireless broadband connection. They play loads of old rare groove, Stone Roses etc it’s great, sometimes I think ‘ooh I haven’t heard that in ages’, I’d put it on myself but then I don’t have to, I can hear it perfectly…they have a loud system, Brighton conversion flats aren’t grrreat on sound proofing…Thank god we share the same taste in noise pollution.

Wonder what it’ll be like when I have the baby? Will the baby cry loads? … will it annoy my neighbours?….will their music disrupt the baby’s sleep pattern? … will I have to complain about their music? And will they complain about the baby crying?

Will I want to run away?…. Will I cope with somebody constantly needing me?… will it affect my following of LOST series 2? We all know what a big commitment it is. (LOST 24 episodes, nearly half a year). What if I need chocolate late at night there will be nobody to look after the baby whilst I pop to the 24hour…could ask the neighbours? …only joking. Um god my life is going to change and as an independent (read ‘likes to be in control’) woman, the scariest thing is I have no way of preparing my mind for it. I thought about using a ‘teach parenting’ doll they give school kids, the dolls that cry all the time until you pick them up, but then I thought it would do my head in. The thing that I am forgetting is that I am concentrating on the disadvantages of having a baby (as if that will prepare me for it) and not even considering the amazing benefits that right now I can’t even fathom. I looked at a baby the other day, she was adorable, she smiled at me, I thought “What if my baby is cute?” I hadn’t even thought of that… I forget about the pros of having a child. I keep imagining a disgruntled rat like looking newborn and forgetting that after a few weeks, months, years, she’ll grow up really cute and I’ll have a little mate who I can send to the 24 hour for chocolate…

WEEK 34

Just thought of another reason why women shouldn’t be dumped pregnant.

Its 10pm and I need chocolate. Normal circumstances boyfriend would be cajoled into getting the pregnant girlfriend choc0late from the 24-hour. Hmph. EX has a lot to answer for. I wonder how much I really need the chocolate as I bounce on my ‘fit ball’ (trying to get baby in head down position for and an easy birth) so far she’s spent 7 months head down and has now made a complete about turn …. great just like her father…

I’m need a Galaxy bar and possibly Vienetta… Everyone keeps saying how well I look – reckon I can afford a little munch… the flip flops are on and I waddle slowly up the 24 hour shop. Some days I am really crippled my pelvis feels very odd, I look like an old woman walking. People say how I look slimmer than before I was pregnant… does that mean I was bloody fat before?

I assure everyone I’ve been eating, in fact I’ve never eaten so much junk, my old diet of tofu and rice has been elbowed in favour of potato waffles and spaghetti hoops. It’s been a wheat and dairy fest! And my allergies seem to have disappeared! Brilliant! But hey so have my boobs…aren’t they supposed to grow? Mine seems to have got smaller my nipples have increased in size though and have un inverted themselves, perhaps they just look smaller in contrast to my now huge belly…

I’ve decided if they shrink maybe I’ll have a boob job… looked it up on Google and it found breasts enlargement pills!! Surely rubbish right? A mixture of oestrogen making herbs, which may give you, boobs but also breast cancer and ruin your metabolism. Maybe I should just breast feed for the next 10 years. Actually I don’t know if I can do 3 months…I know its supposed to be the most natural thing in the world but anything sucking on my tits apart from a man just before I come just doesn’t seem right.

Erm joking aside, I’ve got to remember it’s cheaper and easier than bottles (sterilising bottles for a bottle feed at 4am defenitly isn’t natural, in fact being awake then isn’t unless of course you coming home from a club…) Breastfeeding is healthier for the wee bairn’s immune system, so I will give it my best shot.

Also apparently I can eat an extra 500 calories a day if I breastfeed…or not and lose loads of weight…. Gimme me the chocolate!

Standing in the 24 hour my major decision today is shall I buy Artic roll or Vienetta? Next week it’ll be how the hell can I afford to pay for them but until then I waddle home carrying my heavy load of foetus, Galaxy, and Vienetta, no wonder I’m such a skinny pregnant woman I tell you it’s unnatural to be single and pregnant late night chocolate purchasing is the mans role!

Week 35 – 5 weeks left

As it's not the norm for a man to leave his pregnant girlfriend, so what's the etiquette for paying maintenance while waiting for the baby to be born?

I say etiquette because there is no law saying the man has to pay anything whilst we wait for the baby to arrive. The law (CSA) only demands money (15% of earnings) when the baby is born. I can’t work, I’m tired, dizzy brained and I waddle everywhere. Peeing is my full time job. My bladder is my new boss and he works me hard, all the hours of the night. I’m on call 24/7. I get into bed at night but I know its just a ritual I’ll be up 7 times before I actually go to sleep I should just wear a nappy or sleep in the bath…

The baby is already taking after her mother, she likes to stay up late and kick off
She bodypops in my womb. I'm not sure what she doing, but it always starts at midnight. If I had a job now there’s no way I’d be a perky employee at 9am. I’ve got a waddle a duck would be proud of.

I’d like to add here that I always thought pregnant women put that waddle on a bit, y’know, 'oooh my back' ... waddle, I thought it was cos of the weight of the bump, but no it’s the pelvis moving to make way for the baby.

My EX said “I’m paying you a wage! I mean when are going back to work?”
Um well I havn’t even had the baby yet…gimme a break…

This is a man who encouraged me to have a baby, coming up with baby names in week 3 of our relationship. His Valentine card read, “my darling looking forward to the rest of our life together".

I can only feel sorry for him. Is he insane? How could he have suddenly changed his mind? When we split up he said, “I was a crap boyfriend but I promise I’ll be a great dad”. Er, he’s clearly a man who does not know his own mind, so what kind of father will he be?

if he changes his mind about being a good father. He changed his mind about being with me and us being a family so how can I trust him?

I don’t want to be financially dependant on him but until the baby comes I’m at his mercy. This is all about power and now he has it. Ironically, he probably feels like I'm the one with the power as he is the one having to go to work. Hmmm it’s not all about money is it?

You see if he was a clever twat and not just a stupid twat he should have waited to leave me, that way he wouldn’t have to pay for 3 people’s homes!

Week 33 of Pregnancy

Slept well last night first time in ages. Ex woke me up with a 9am call. He knows I don’t function very well in the morning. I reckon he was trying to catch me off guard… He hasn’t rung in 2 weeks… not since we had a text message row about money. So modern…

The last thing EX said to me was “for god sakes Molly your pregnant not ill!” to which I put the phone down, I mean I had just only said I was finding it hard to walk now…ummm thanks for the sympathy. He then 3 days later and left no messages, but rang five times… I eventually text him back and he repiled “IS EVERYTHING OK, I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON?” I replied “Everything is fine, I mean why shouldn’t it be? After all as you said I’m pregnant not ill…”

Ha! 1- nil to me. He then said “Two reliable sources tell me the benefits can help pay your mortgage payments- I suggest you research this”

Grrr I wrote back “I know this I told you this. Their policy is to pay it only after 10 months of claiming. I suggest you listen more in the future.”

Yeah right…. He then offered me financial advice - which from a man who can’t live on a few grand a month I found hard to swallow. He said “I know it sounds like false economy (hmm yes it does) but instead of paying a little each month to each bill why don’t you pay them in one big go - quarterly instead of monthly that way you’d have less outgoings each month….” Jesus thanks for that gem…

Hope the baby doesn’t inherit his brain cells, money sense, or compassion….

In the old days it must have been easier… a sailor and a barmaid had a passionate affair, his ship docked for 6 months, he thought he might be in love she got pregnant, he had to go back to the sea to bring in the old pennies and whilst he was on the scurvey ridden ship he decided it was easier being on his own than than providing for the wench, maybe deep down he was worried about other men getting in there whilst he was away earning, maybe also he was worried about being a being a failure and not being there for her, I mean what if he got scurvy and gave it to the bairn? It must have been easier for her too, no bloody weekend visits messing up her new relationship and no text message arguments about money and access…Just a wave goodbye to a ship and a “your dad’s at sea” for the rest of the child's life. Yes she would would have to live a life of shame and probably become a prostitute to buy food and rent but at least she wouldn’t have to have bloody text message rows….

Week 32 of pregnancy

Just spent ten minutes crying down the phone to EDF about my gas bill… so embarrassing “I can’t pay this bill, I’m 7 months pregnant and my partner has left me…”

They offer a payment meter to which I get really angry (the back of my mind thinking Moll it’s not his fault c’mon you used to work in a call centre… in fact most of the ones in Brighton… give him a break), instead I shout “I’m having a baby in 2 months time I don’t want to be having to wrap the baby up to go get gas in the middle of the night! Don’t patronise me!”

He probably thought “no wonder your bloke has left you…” Then I just wanted to cry and had to do that be very quiet thing followed by high pitched yes’s and no’s, I apologised and then just said I’d ask my ex partner for the cash….

I felt like such a smuck… I hate asking for anything, I hate admitting I ever need help never mind asking for it. Having a baby on your own seems like there’s going to be a lot of asking for help…. I already have to ask the man who I love who doesn’t want to be with me to support me financially now that’s just wrong….

Normally when go through a break up, you can choose if you want to ever see them again… no such luck, I have to speak to the EX every week about baby stuff and money… “Molly I was a crap boyfriend but I promise I’ll be a great dad.” Hmmmph Yeah you reckon? You also said in your valentine’s card you were “looking forward to the rest of lives together...”

There is defiantely a reason that most man don’t leave their girlfriends when they are 7 months pregnant and that’s probably cos it’s wholly unnatural, I mean normally when you split up with someone you get bloody pissed and you go off and snog other people to boost the old ego and hey soon you start to believe that life is worth living. Not being 7 months pregnant you don’t- you eat some chocolate, think “did he leave me cos I’m fat…?” And then waddle up the shops to buy another cake and some coal or whatever you’re craving…

Its damn right un natural. If I’m really honest I don’t want him back anyway, he’s proved himself to be a bloody idiot, what man would do this? He could have waited till after the birth. (Well not immediately) or till the baby was eating solids… (How is he gonna have the baby at weekends if I’m breast feeding?) he could have waited till the child had left school and was in college. Yes we would have been miserable and he would have had affairs by then and I would be hagged and twisted and bitter after giving my life to a man that didn’t love or want me but hey I would have been able to pay the gas bill…..